Defensive Indifference

An enthralling bench-clearing brawl in Boston this evening—which I’m sure will be all over Sportscenter tonight—saw Coco Crisp get plunked by James Shields, the former charge the mound and dodge a Shields haymaker (despite how the above picture appears, Shields totally whiffed), connect a left to Shields’ lower neck-shoulder area, get jumped by Dioner Navarro, then Jonny Gomes and Carl Crawford jumped on Crisp with arms flailing MMA-style while Crisp was pinned to the ground. Oh, and I think Sox third base coach DeMarlo Hale also got jumped by a bunch of Rays. Crisp, Shields, and Gomes were ejected (Crawford wasn’t for some unknown reason). All in all I was rather disappointed with the Red Sox reactions; the Rays clearly won this brouhaha. The Red Sox ‘pen was rather lackadaisical and late getting in on things; most Red Sox didn’t arrive until Crisp and Hale were on the ground already getting mauled (though I guess the Rays did have the advantage of having 9 players already on the field).

Oh, and the Red Sox are winning the game, but who cares about that?

UPDATE: Here’s the AP’s story on the fight.  Later in the game Jacoby Ellsbury injured his wrist making a diving catch, and then a few innings later Manny Ramirez and Kevin Youkilis got into an argument in the dugout and had to be separated.  No one knows what the fight was about.  Crazy night.

News: Reds 3B Edwin Encarnacion reached base Wednesday in his 27th straight game, the most for a Reds player since RF Austin Kearns reached base in 32 straight in 2003.

Analysis: Encarnacion is a streaky slugger for any Fantasy league when he is going well. He is on pace for a career year at this point, but you have to expect inconsistent results from the free-swinger.

Seems a little odd to call someone with a 27-game on-base streak a free-swinger, but, hey, Jimmy Rollins had that überlong hitting streak and he’s kind of a BDC, so maybe they’re right. Only thing is, Encarnacion’s OBP is currently 102 points above his average on the season, and, just to prove this isn’t something new, his career OBP is almost 80 points above his career AVG. Not Barry Bonds, but no Delmon Young either. He’s also seeing a decent 3.9 P/PA this year, which is just about his career average there too. But he is a Latino, so CBS is probably right.

Rays pitcher Al Reyes had a pretty rough night last night. Courtesy of the AP:

TAMPA, Fla. — Tampa Bay Rays pitcher Al Reyes was shocked with a stun gun and arrested early Friday after police say he fell against a ceramic pot in a bar, got up and picked a fight with a man he thought pushed him.

Reyes, treated at the scene for a cut on his nose, was charged with being in a fight that disturbed the peace. Eduardo Mora was charged with battery. Both men were released on their own recognizance, police said.

Witnesses told officers that Reyes, who turned 38 on Thursday, appeared to be intoxicated when he exchanged words with Mora, who punched the 6-foot-1, 240-pound pitcher in the face at the Hyde Park Cafe around 2:30 a.m.

A police statement said that when bouncers grabbed Mora, Reyes began spitting blood on patrons and swinging his arms. When the bouncers were unable to control Reyes, a police officer working extra duty at the club intervened, asking Reyes to stop.

When the pitcher “continued spitting blood and thrashing about,” the officer told Reyes he was going to use his Taser, which knocked Reyes to the ground. He was shocked a second time after not complying with commands to stay down.

So, to sum up: Reyes went out for his birthday, got shitcanned, fell onto a ceramic pot, picked a fight for no apparent reason, got punched in the face, spat blood at people (including possibly a police officer) like a raging lunatic (maybe he thought he was Tyler Durden), got tased not once but twice, and got charged with disturbing the peace for his trouble. Well done, sir; now that’s a birthday celebration. I tip my hat to you.

I would just like to direct our handful of readers, especially those who may not read firejoemorgan.com regularly (and if you don’t, you really should), to FJM’s latest post on an atrocious article by Jim Armstrong that just so happened to be published by Andrew’s very own AOL. It’s a fine job of deconstruction, as always, by FJM. Enjoy.

This red tailed hawk is quite protective of her beloved Red Sox.

I’ve been gorging myself all day on baseball, and despite Mother Nature throwing a wrench into the proverbial gears early on it’s turned into a pretty enjoyable day of games, with a couple going into extra innings. You know the baseball season’s officially underway when Eric Gagné blows his first save. Instead of rehashing today’s match-ups, I’d like to relate a brief anecdote involving everyone’s favorite douchenozzle, Colin Cowherd. I cannot attest to the veracity of the tale as I am too lazy to hunt down corroborating evidence, but trust me that the following paraphasing is more or less accurate, though absolutely not verbatim, with a little creative license. And let me include this picture, just to set the mood.

“I’m excited for the baseball season to get underway. I just had my fantasy draft for my NL-only league, which I’m only doing to force myself to care about the NL, which we all know is IRRELEVANT. I thought I’d get some power and some RBIs on my team early on, so I picked Prince Fielder. Great pick, I was really proud of myself, and I’m sure the rest of my league was jealous, until I found out some horrible news.”

Listening in my car, I naturally assumed Prince had picked up a fluke injury unbeknownst to me, or perhaps had even been linked to PEDs. Boy, was I wrong.

“In the off-season Fielder became—get this!—a vegetarian! Can you believe it? They say he’s considering becoming a vegan! He’s done for. Now, don’t get me wrong, I’m sure vegetarianism can be good for you and all, but vegetarians simply can not compete athletically at a professional level. It’s the truth. Just look at his spring stats! .290 average, 3 doubles, only 1 home run! Just watch, he’ll end the season with a .270 average and 3 home runs. I mean, have you ever looked at a vegan? They look so unhealthy, they look emaciated. Just compare a vegan’s body with say a linebacker. Take their shirts off and tell me who looks healthier. Take their shirts off, and the linebacker will win every time. And you know what, I had a girlfriend once who was vegetarian. HORRIBLE gas! It was like going out with a septic system! Who wants a smelly vegan in their locker room? I’m telling ya, .260, 4 home runs.”

After which Cowherd’s producer naturally went ahead and repeatedly played canned fart sounds, which I’m sure were right at his finger tips, in the probably reasonable hope that Cowherd would mention farting at some point during the show. By now I had reached my destination, thankfully, but I’m sure this “riff” went on for much longer, especially once Cowherd’s fanboys got going with it.