Defensive Indifference

You are the worst run organization in the history of ever. Thank you for making me wait more than 30 minutes for an effin’ Red Line train at White Flint you assclowns. Because of you, I missed most of the first quarter of the Super Bowl. Because of your stupid plan to do track maintenance on a Sunday afternoon at friggin’ Medical Center, I was late for the friggin’ biggest sporting event of the year.

And might I ask why you do maintenance on a Sunday afternoon? You are not a 24-hour operation. You close your friggin’ doors at midnight on weekdays. You can do your crapfaced repairs at another time, you know like when you’re closed, you crapfaces. It’s not like anyone tries to go anywhere at 5 pm on a Super Bowl Sunday you friggin’ clowns. Oh wait, yes it flippin’ is.

Jesus tapdancing mother. If they combined Enron and the National Socialist Party, it still wouldn’t be worse than the D.C. Metro.

*Congratulations, world. Are you happy with your relentless Patriots hate now? You’ve unleashed this d’bag on us all again. Jesus. I’m a New England fan, but only the real bandwagon kind you probably love to hate (sorry, I just don’t care much for the NFL or football), but I only had two reasons for wanting to win. 1. Because screw New York. 2. Because Mercury Morris, who is a convicted cocaine dealer by the way, would finally be out of my life for good. Now, I don’t even care. The Giants, the Colts, the Jets … anyone can go undefeated, just please do it next year, so I never have to listen to Mercury Morris ever again. Maybe it’s just my statistically-oriented mind, but I’m so sick of this shit about the Dolphins being the best team ever. They’re not. They played in an era when linemen were, comparatively, tiny and when there was no salary cap or real free agency. They played lousy opponents and they were underdogs in the Super Bowl. The 2007 Miami Dolphins would kick the ever-loving crap out of the 1972 Dolphins, so please stop saying they’re the best team ever. It’s like comparing pre-integration baseball teams to post-integration ones.