New England Has Lost Its Damn Mind
Red Sox Nation has its fair share of dimwits. Look no further than Kyle Andree, MySpace Bossa Nova/Acoustic/Crunk musical artist, who, in the tradition of great American protest songs from ‘We Shall Overcome’ to ‘Blowin’ in the Wind’, has penned and performed ‘Don’t Trade Jacoby’ in hopes of stopping Theo Epstein from trading Jacoby Ellsbury in a deal for Johan Santana. Here’s a sample of the awesome lyrics:
Hey, Theo, I got something to tell ya, about a certain trade with Minnesota, Yeah Johan, he’s the man, and to get him do whatever you can. But there’s just one player that just can’t go, and I’ll give you one hint, he’s a Navajo.
Don’t trade Jacoby to Minnesota, please don’t say that I never told ‘ya.
When he’s a Hall of Fame center fielder,
Yeah, Theo Epstein, you’re gonna feeluhhhhhhhhh dumb.………
In 33 games he hit three home runs, it’s better than our resident right field bum*.
And at the tender age of 24, he’s a better looking version of Grady Sizemore.
Sigh. Hyperbole much? Where do I even begin?
Jacoby Ellsbury is a cult hero and the benefactor of one of the most amazing halo factors I’ve ever seen. By halo factor, I mean he performed extremely well over a small sample size of plate appearances artificially inflating his perceived value to the average fan. It’s easy to see why. After all, he went from second to home on a wild pitch in his Boston debut, hit .353 with a 131 OPS+ filling in for Manny Ramirez in September and could have easily been World Series MVP.
I love Ellsbury as much as the next guy. I even own his t-shirt jersey (and sentimentally I don’t want to see it join the ranks of Wily Mo Pena and Shea Hillenbrand in my t-shirt jersey collection). But we’re talking about Johan Santana here. Contrary to Andree’s belief, Ellsbury has virtually no shot at becoming a Hall of Famer or being better than Grady Sizemore. He hit 10 homers in 1155 minor league plate appearances. Sizemore has 52 homers in his last 1499 plate appearances in the majors.
Ellsbury’s ceiling is something like Kenny Lofton. That’s a commodity I’d gladly give up for Johan Santana, who is the best pitcher in baseball and does in fact have a chance at Cooperstown. In fact, I’d consider giving up Jon Lester and Ellsbury in the same deal. The Red Sox haven’t had to consider that possibility yet and they may never have to because the Twins don’t have the necessary leverage to ask for both players.
Hey, I guess hysteria and hyperbole is part of being a fan, but to me this song is just kind of annoying.
* I like how he can’t get through his irrational song without some sort of dig at J.D. Drew, who is about 10x the hitter Ellsbury is. I think the first two rules of being a Red Sox fanboy are hating Drew for no reason and thinking Ellsbury is the second coming.
Knuckle Pound: Eric Wilbur [Boston Sports Blog] via Ladies ..
[…] links: When trade rumors go wrong … 28 teams interested in Johan … A song for Ellsbury … Mercury Morris’ undefeated rap … Gator food […]
yeah johan. he’s the man. and to get him, do whatever you can.
not knocking johan wilbur. not at all. easily one of the top 3 pitchers in baseball. probably the best lefty.
but ellsbury is gonna be a big franchise player. yeah, 10 homers, so many plate appearances blah blah blah.
i understand that.
but he’s a good player, terrific defensively, a solid bat offensively, and runs like freakin’ joe dimaggio did.
not to mention, he’s a hit with the ladies.
he’s gonna be the next face of the Sox once papi and manny aren’t around. he’s gonna be a huge franchise player. thats why it’s important to keep him. not because i’m in love with him.
and you’re damn right i’m taking a dig at JD Drew. yeah, i loved that grand slam. anything else? i would’ve loved to kick him in the nuts for everything he did, considering he gets paid $14 million a year.
Kyle, welcome.
Johan Santana could be the face of the franchise and he’s a possible future HoF. Ellsbury is going to be adored by every one in a pink hat. I’d rather have one of the best rotations in decades than an above-average CF, especially when you consider that Coco Crisp is a better defender and nearly as good a runner as Ellsbury.
As for Drew, I just don’t get why people hate him. Sure, he made $14M, so the eff what. Did you pay him? He was pretty average hitting-wise last season, but he’s a great defender and he could be even better next season. Why there’s this irrational hatred for Drew boggles the mind especially when you have Julio Lugo making nearly as much and stinking a whole lot more.
i’m right there with you on lugo.
but drew was made out to be this huge addition to the hitting line up, and the man just fell short. thank god mike lowell was there to plug the 5 spot, because drew was just not the hitter they made him out to be. defensively, he’s sound. offensively, with the exception of that grand slam, he’s just not what we expected.
and that could chalked up to the fact that he was coming off of an unbelievable year and couldn’t match those numbers again. or the fact that its his first time in AL, nevermind the AL east. whatever the reason for his unproductive season may be, i’m hoping he comes around offensively… otherwise the next 4 years are gonna be painful when he comes up to bat.
and there’s no doubt about it. with johan and becket in the same rotation, this would be the best rotation in baseball. but the fact that the twins are asking for a possible 5-1 deal including ellsbury AND lester, is just unfathomable. and the fact that some people entertain it just completely blows my mind.
i understand it’s johan. but losing 2 starting outfielders, and decent starting lefty, and 2 minor league prospects for 1 ace left handed pitcher is just too much. the twins don’t have too much to work with once they do lose johan, so why push so much for that extra outfielder? take the pitching of lester and masterson along with a plug for center field in coco and lowrie could be their short stop of the future.