Defensive Indifference

I have a very love-hate relationship with ESPN’s Sports Guy. His schtick is still pretty entertaining to me, particularly in the realm of pop culture. On the other hand, his Red Sox fandom completely irks me. Not in the Ben Affleck please-root-for-the-Yankees kind of way, but more in the Pink-hat Johnny-Damon-fangirl kind of way. From his stances on J.D. Drew to his constant unfounded criticism of the front office, he just comes off sounding like a friggin’ idiot.

Look no further than his Marathon Chat yesterday at ESPN. It was mostly enjoyable. It was even for a good cause! And yet, whenever he talked about the Red Sox I found myself wanting to gouge my eyes out.

Example 1: “I also think Melky is decidedly above-average - he’s better than Coco Crisp.” Melky 2007 OPS+: 89. Coco 2007 OPS+: 83. And Crisp is a far better defender.

Example 2: “If you were Theo Epstein would you trade Buckholtz,Lester and Coco for Santana? Bill Simmons: In a heartbeat. That’s not going to be nearly enough though.” Yeah, that won’t be nearly enough. Johan isn’t Pedro and Buchholz and Lester aren’t Carl Pavano and Brian Rose. Would it kill Billy-boy to know something about baseball before he started yammering on like a moron?